A Look Back: July 20th, 2008

I made it to the airport but had to unpack when I got there! My suitcase weighed 52 something pounds. They charge an incredible amount for the extra weight, so I took things out and handed them to my father and stepmother right there in the terminal. They walked off carrying sandals, books, and I can't remember what else. The flight to Beijing was LONG! United seats are so close together that you cannot bend your knees. I stood in the back of the plane for most of the 13 hours. There were many Chinese people on the flight - some I talked to were going over to work at the Olympics which begins soon. I'm not completely sure of our flight path but it looked like we went straight up on the map - over Greenland maybe? - then we went over Russia and finally into China. At some point in the flight, the food turned to Chinese - noodles, chopsticks, etc. It was strange deboarding in a foreign county. The Beijing airport is large and there were lots of people. I was to look for a person holding an America World sign. Finally, I see her - what a wonderful sight. She has already found the other America World people on the flight - a couple who I saw in Washington! I had NO idea that they were with America World, but I did wonder if they were adopting because they had a neck wallet like I did. We chat all the way to the hotel. They are adopting a 2 year old little boy - their second adoption from China. We get to the hotel and discover that our rooms are next door to each other! We are too exhausted to do much else than update our blogs. It is Sunday afternoon here - we left our homes on Saturday morning. Monday morning, we will be leaving to fly to the provinces where our children are. The other 11 families are here in the hotel. They went to the Great Wall today and then out to dinner. There will be 6 other families flying to Nanchang with me. They are all adopting infants. I will meet them in the morning - right now, I plan to sleep!

A Look Back: July 18th, 2008

If I thought I had it together, I was sadly mistaken. Today I feel so jumbled that I can hardly function. I told Linda that she needed to hang out with me just to make sure I did the things that I had to do. It's one thing to think about leaving on an international trip - I've traveled a bit - been as far as Barbados and Hawaii - but never so far as China. And never to a place where they speak a different language. It's a 13 hour flight - and I don't like to fly (unless it's first class). As I think about all this I suddenly remember why I'm going - I'm going to be a mom - to a 4 (almost 5)year old. OH MY! This has been going on in my mind all day! I did have enough sense to hire a housekeeper to clean my house today! Linda helped me get the rest of the money together. The expenses that will need to be paid in China must be in NEW twenty dollars bills. I did not know that banks no longer have new money. I used to be a teller and we always had new money. Anyway, my bank worked on this all week and didn't have enough really clean twenties. So, we went to Linda's bank - and I called my Dad who was in route and he got some at his credit union. So, between the three, I have it - they're not new but they look pretty good. Tonight I had my stepmother packing, ironing, and touching up paint in the master bath! I think it's all in the suitcase now - do I dare weigh it? I can hardly pick it up. My flight leaves at 10:25am. My father and stepmother will make sure I make it to the plane. One more sleep......

A Look Back: July 17th 2008

Most of travel group 136 left today for Beijing. I have no regrets as I'm running around half crazy. Remember I mentioned remodeling? Well, the painters finished at 8:30pm tonight! I have tile grout dust throughout the house. Everything that was in the master closet is in the guest room and in Jordyn's room! My father and stepmother are arriving tomorrow and they will need a room - not to mention that Jordyn will also need a room very soon. So, it must all be put in the new closet. I'm frantically trying to do this. In the meantime, I haven't packed yet! I don't really know what size Jordyn will wear so I have 2-3 different sizes available to take. One thing I know - it's hot in China. But, I've been told that the Chinese will try to cover up your child if too much skin is showing regardless of the temperature so I need to take long pants or capris too. I'm not sure which toys I should take. There is a 50 pound limit on the international flight, but in China there is a 44 pound limit and you cannot go over - period. You can only carry on one personal item and that is considered your "carry on", so even if I carried on an extra bag to China, I wouldn't be able to take it to Nanchang on Monday because my tote bag is my "carry on". There can be NO liquids carried on in China either. So, packing is a challenge. My dear neighbor Linda came over tonight to help and I had her doing everything from cleaning grout dust to packing! Tomorrow she will just be around to help me stay focused - and to go over the checklist. As an old friend would say - 2 more sleeps until China. Who's sleeping???

A Look Back: July 15th, 2008

“For he will command his angels concerning you to

guard you in all your ways." Psalm 91:11

Dear Travel Group 136,

The time you have long been waiting for has finally arrived! You are about to meet your precious child face to face! The America World staff shares in your joy as this day quickly approaches.

Like most incredible life experiences, your trip to China will be both amazing and challenging. As Paul encouraged the Romans, so we also encourage you with this verse: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Please know that you will be in our prayers throughout your time in China. We look forward to talking with you upon your return, and hearing all about your trip. If you will be posting pictures or updates to a blog while you travel we would love to have the link and follow along. We are thankful for the blessing of walking alongside you throughout this journey. May God bless this final chapter of your adoption process!

In His Love,

Kristen Hussa

Travel Coordinator

A Look Back: July 14, 2008

Today our travel group had a 2 hour travel meeting via telephone. There are 13 families traveling and we were all on the phone! I found out a little about each family. There is one other single and there is another family leaving on the 19th. The agency travel coordinator lead the meeting. We received so much information! I tried to take notes but my mind is just too jumbled. The paperwork is so important - I have to make sure I have the right documents with me. I have an agency check list and I think I will go through it several times. I can't believe the time has almost come. Very soon I will have a precious little girl. The coordinator prayed with us at the end of the meeting - she relinquished us into God's hands. Only here can I move forward.

I'm Back!

Hello to all who are still checking this blog. I would have given up long ago! Things have been a bit crazy and I'll tell you why in a minute. I do plan to continue the "Look Back" (see below this post) up to my trip to China and our journey home - then I'm going to turn the blog into a book for Jordyn to have. I'll still update occasionally, but probably only a few times/year. Since my last post: I was out of work from January 27th until April 30th. Although I initially panicked, it was the right thing for us. And as I waited, the ideal job came along. I'm now a school nurse with Franklin County Schools. One of my schools is just 4 miles away - the other 26 miles but I split my time between them. It is VERY different from hospital nursing which I did for 26 years so I have a lot of adjusting to do. But, the hours - 8-3:30! A week+ off at Christmas and Easter - and 4 1/2 weeks in the summer (mid June to mid July). One of my schools is modified year round so I go back with them in July and work part-time until my other school opens in August. The schedule is perfect for Jordyn. Speaking of Jordyn, she is doing fantastic and has progressed by leaps and bounds. I had a babysitter with her for the 6 weeks I worked and we've been enjoying the summer since then. We went to the beach for a week and then to the mountains for few days. Jordyn has been in swimming lessons since April and she loves it. When we came home from China she was terrified of large bodies of water so she has come a long way! Jordyn is also in private English lessons every week. The language is a struggle but she is putting 2 and 3 words together without prompting now. If I had moved to China 1 year ago I'm quite sure I would not be speaking Chinese at this point! Jordyn had been in speech therapy and occupational therapy but I have stopped both for now. I had considered taking Jordyn to school with me but I have decided on a very small private school in Wake Forest. There will be less than 10 kids and much more individualized attention. She starts August 3rd! This fall will be a major change for both of us! Please pray that Jordyn will feel secure quickly and that she will enjoy going to school. That's the latest! I hope I will be able to adequately describe my feelings as I "Look Back"! Thanks to all who have prayed for us and stayed in touch with us. Much love - k

A Look Back: June 27th 2008

Today I received concrete travel dates! My agency had to first make our consulate appointment in Guangzhou - it will be July 28th at 9am - so the group is leaving for Beijing on July 17th and returning to the US on July 30th. I've decided to leave on July 19th and skip the Beijing part of the trip. The 2 days are for rest and sightseeing. Although I would love to see the Great Wall, I would rather just go and get Jordyn! So, I'll leave on July 19th - fly to Washington DC - then on to Beijing arriving July 20th. Then I will fly to Nanchang in Jiangxi province on July 21st. I will have Jordyn on July 21st. On July 25th, we will fly to Guangzhou. The children will receive their visas and then we will fly back to Beijing on July 30th and then to Washington DC and then to RDU! China bound in 3 weeks!

A Look Back: June 9, 2008

It's 4:15 pm - I'm in the middle of getting my hair cut and my cell phone rings. My Travel Approval has arrived - weeks before I was expecting it! The next group leaves on June 26 - just 2 weeks and 3 days from now. I'm speechless and I can't think. My house is in the middle of being remodeled - new dog room where I can separate the dogs from Jordyn if they don't like each other. The house is literally upside down! My work really needs more notice than this because I will need to take off several days before I leave. My brother is getting married this weekend.... But how can I not go now? After I collect my thoughts , I know I need to wait. There will be another group in just a few weeks. This will give me time to send a care package to Haoyun (Jordyn) so she can see my picture and hopefully have time to adjust to the idea. My agency doesn't have the date of the next travel group yet - it will depend on the arrival of the travel approvals of the group just receiving their referrals for infants.

A Look Back: June 6th 2008

I sent a care package to Haoyun (Jordyn) today. A very sweet lady in Guangzhou has a website - she puts together a package and then gets it to the child. I think she did a fantastic job! She has been so helpful and also got me a bit of updated information. A camera went with the package so hopefully I will have some pictures to keep for Jordyn of her last days in China. I sent a few pictures from here to Jordyn. My prayer is that her foster family will try to prepare her for this big change in her life. I have visions of being at the airport and Jordyn refusing to get on the plane!

A Look Back: May 20th, 2008 - It's Here!

FedEx arrives at 10am with my "Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter". Better known as REFERRAL APPROVAL! Come on Travel Approval!

A Look Back: May 19th, 2008

The phone call! My referral approval is here! I will receive it via Fedex in the morning. It's real now - it's official - I'm going to China to bring little Haoyun home. I found out a really awesome thing at BSF tonight - our last night. A group member had been praying since our first week in September that my adoption might be final (so to speak) before the end of BSF. Wow is all I can say to that. Next comes the Travel Approval from China. This document will allow me to come to China for the purpose of adoption.

A Look Back: April 29th, 2008

I receive my preapproval today! I'm told that this only means that China is acknowledging my letter of intent. Now they will pull my dossier - the "real" paperwork that took 6 months to complete and has been sitting in their office since September 2006 - and decide if I will be a good "match" for Haoyun. This part may take many weeks - or maybe months. I'm thinking I will travel in July or August? But the olympics are in August and that will surely effect travel for adoptions. But September seems an eternity away.

A Look Back: April 22nd, 2008

Paperwork is finally done! My "Electronic Acceptance" or EA is on it's way to the China Center for Adoption Affairs. This is basically a letter of intent to express my desire to adopt Haoyun. The waiting begins - again.

A Look Back: April 14th, 2008

I accept Haoyun's referral today with great joy! God could not have spoken more clearly through His word. The details are too lengthy and private to go into, but I will share the main verse which He confirmed at church yesterday. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 I didn't realize it, but I was thinking in worldly terms - I had to go back and see what God had to say about the fears I had. When I did that, and chose to change the way my mind was thinking, I knew what His answer was. There is SO much to do now! I have to prepare official paperwork for China to let them know my intent - then I will wait for them to approve my adoption request. Things could move very quickly I'm told.

Happy Easter!

"Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." Matthew 28:5-6

A Look Back: April 9th 2008

I receive 4 new pictures today - and a brief answer to four questions. The information in Haoyun's file is so sketchy and confusing - and there are contradictory statements. I sent my agency a request for more information a few days ago along with four questions. I had hoped for a paragraph addressing the questions but instead receive a few words answering each question - and there are contradictions in that too! I have to realize that this is all the information I will have - and this is what bothers everyone I have consulted. I have felt since I first saw her picture that God was speaking to me - that she is the child He has chosen - since before the beginning of time. But, I'm confused - and I'm afraid. I'm going to take the next few days and seek the heart of God.

A Look Back: March 24th 2008

I have stared at these pictures over and over. My stepmother notices that she is wearing the same shoes in 2 of the pictures so it must be the same child. I call my agency this afternoon. My coordinator agrees that the pictures look different, but she doesn't have any more information. Without hesitation, I move to what's called a full review. I'm required to seek the advice of a physician and I'm encouraged to seek the advice of my social worker and others familiar with international adoption of older children. In hindsight, this was a mistake as I become confused by all of the well meaning opinions. It will take putting all else aside and hearing from the Lord - and He speaks clearly!

A Look Back: March 20th 2008

March 20th 2008 9:30am. I'm busy with a patient in the pacu when my cell phone rings. It is my agency coordinator - she wants to know if I have a minute. No, I say, I'm very busy - slighty annoyed that she called my cell. I tell her I'll call her back when I get a break. I continue working as I process the phone call. My coordinator calls periodically to see how I'm doing with "the wait" but she NEVER calls my cell phone. Why would she call my cell??? - UNLESS - but it can't be. I was told another family was chosen. But why would she call my cell? It seems forever until I can call her back - and help me, she's not at her desk! By now I'm sure it has something to do with this child. There would be no other reason for her to call my cell. Finally, she calls - YES - it is about this child. Shangguan Haoyun is available for adoption. I can hardly breathe as I agree to the next step - reviewing the scarce information China decides to share. I go back to work but I'm useless. The information comes later today via e-mail - with 4 pictures. But wait - she looks different in 2 of the pictures. I seriously doubt it's the same child. My agency is closed for the weekend so I'll have to wait to see if they made a mistake. But wait - didn't I just dream this last week? Thus begins an incredible journey.

A Look Back: March 17th 2008

It was 5 days ago that I saw her picture. My agency turned down my request for "review" (more information) as another family was in this process. Why do I keep thinking about her? She is 4 1/2! I have a crib! I have a closet full of 18-24 month clothes! This is not my plan! So why am I dreaming about her? Tonight I asked my BSF group to pray that God would open my heart to the child He has already chosen and that I would be willing to let go of "my plans" in this adoption journey.

A Look Back: March 15th 2008

I had a dream about this child last night. In the dream, I was moving forward with her adoption and I was called into a room with a lot of other people to look at her pictures. They gave me several pictures to look at but I was so confused - she looked different in all the pictures - she didn't look like the same child from picture to picture. I kept trying to talk to someone about it but no one would listen to me. Then the child came into the room - put her arms around my legs and called me "mama". I decided I didn't care about the pictures. I woke up then - and could not remember anything else about the dream.

March 13th 2008 - March 13th 2009

Over the next 5 months, I'm going to take a look back and try to put into words this incredible journey. Please join me in thought and comment! In August, this blog will end and be turned into a book for Jordyn.

A look back: March 13th 2008 1pm - I saw a picture sent in an e-mail from my agency while I was at work - it was only a glimpse because I was very busy. But I couldn't get the face out of my mind. I would look at this picture many times over the coming days. And even though I was told I was not chosen, I would continue to think about the face, the child - to the point that I would even dream about her. Beginning today, my life would change forever.

February

Happy belated Valentine's Day! I cannot believe it is February and we are about to celebrate 7 months!!! What a wonderful 7 months it has been. Jordyn is doing very well and learning new things everyday. I've discovered she has quite a memory and has memorized some things that I thought she had learned! She is saying a lot of English words but needs prompting to use sentences. I went ahead with the speech therapy just for a boost and it's been great as they do more than just "speech". One thing they work on which I never thought about is "what" and "where" - like "what do you do with a book", etc. This is a wonderful place offering lots of services - they have a social class for 4-5 year olds which meets once/week and we are going to start that next week if they have a spot. They also offer OT which we may need down the road but I'm trying things I've read online for now. I don't think Jordyn had ever held a crayon and her fine motor is delayed. She can properly hold a crayon now but still just scribbles and is unable to draw a circle or cross, etc. One thing I read was to transfer buttons from one container to another - so as I write Jordyn is picking up over 300 buttons and putting them in a bottle. She is having a blast! We also "write" in shaving cream and put golf tees in styrofoam - all really fun stuff! I'm looking at schools for the fall and I think I have decided on Neuse Christian (although I have 1 more to look at). They will be starting a transitional kindergarten for 5 year olds. Jordyn will be 6 but I don't think she will be ready for regular kindergarten. Language is still a barrier which effects everything else, of course. This TK class moves at a slower pace and the kids can go to first grade the next year or they can go to kindergarten if needed. Now for other news - I'm unemployed! It's a long story but the short version is I needed to be home with Jordyn a while longer. This whole thing is so bizarre it's as if God is saying "I want you to know I'm in this!" If I did not serve a Sovereign God, I would be wreck by now. And, while I've had my "moments" in these last 3 weeks, I know that this didn't take God by surprise - He's not wringing His hands trying to figure out what to do! So, I will wait and enjoy this cherished time with Jordyn. Please pray for His provision for us - and for His direction. By the way, I think I wrote last about the preschool I was going to look at - well, I looked at many - and I would not be able to leave Jordyn at any of them (some of them I wouldn't leave Luke and Noel!) During this time, a family in my church offered to keep Jordyn. So, when I find a job, Jordyn will be with them until August. Love to all! k

SNOW!

Jordyn finally got to wear her snow boots! She loves the snow! It was the dogs first "real" snow too - so we all had a blast. It wasn't snowman snow though - maybe next time!

Happy New Year!

I know it's Jan 18th but better late than never. Things are kind of in a whirlwind. The night shift position is not working out. I'm afraid I'm not 25 anymore and I cannot go 2 days without sleep. Those of you who would like to say "I told you so" because you remember the last time I tried nights may go ahead and say it! I really thought I could do anything if I had to, but sleeping in route home from work is just not acceptable - and that's what I've been doing. - Very scary. The unit does not have day shift openings - which is no real disappointment. This unit would maybe be ok if you didn't have experience or if you needed constant direction. Let me give you an example - the medical director actually asked me if I had washed my hands before I went into an isolette! All I could say was "excuse me???????" There is no autonomy and that's kind of hard to take after working in PACU and NICU. So, I'm very quickly trying to find something else - DAY SHIFT! This means that Jordyn will go to full time preschool. I'm finally beginning to think she is ready - although others have told me this for some time. Last week Jordyn went for her first speech therapy appointment (the eval was back in the fall). The ST said Jordyn had met all the goals she set in the fall and she didn't think Jordyn even needed speech therapy! Her recommendation? - school. So, I'm looking at schools and I've found a great school that only has 20 children - and only 8 of those are preschoolers. The ratio is 8:1 which is the lowest I could find. Many were 20:1. This school is partnered with Duke which means employees get first open spaces. Amazingly - they just had a preschool opening due to a relocation by a parent. We go for a tour on Thursday. Now, I have to find a job! Jordyn is doing so well and changing so fast. She has gained 6 pounds and has grown 3 inches - our 6 month anniversary is Jan 21st. She remains eager to learn and picks up new things very quickly. She is a sweet little girl with an amazing resiliency and zeal for life. Everyone who knows her adores her. As for me, I cannot imagine what I did before Jordyn. As for pictures, I haven't taken any since Christmas! But as soon as I get off these nights, I will make up for it. My best to everyone -
"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." Joel 2:25